i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
This is classic penis vs brain.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Drunk is not a location!
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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