Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Can you bring me the toilet please
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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