lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
