my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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