For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize