Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize