You work out of a Hotel?
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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