yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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