I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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