I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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