people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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