I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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