Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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