I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
