Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
This is classic penis vs brain.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
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