I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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