I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
