I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
