he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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