She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
