yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize