Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I lost the right to judge tonight
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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