Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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