You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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