Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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