hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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