im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I would fuck him just for his dog
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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