I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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