i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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