I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Randomize
