I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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