it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
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