The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I booty called her while she was in labor.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
