Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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