the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I am midnight drunk by noon
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
