their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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