My liver just broke up with me...
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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