Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I wish i was in the wii world.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize
