forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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