Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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