Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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