I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
