I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize