Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
