Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
