I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
