You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
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We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
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I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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