My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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