Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
