I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
he wants to bone in the snuggie
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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