No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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