is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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