Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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