No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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