Christians are straight up FREAKS
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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