And the cops told us we were all naked.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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