we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
