After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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