i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
