I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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