look no pants
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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