May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
